here is no such thing as a flawless relationship, whether it is personal or professional. A good connection, on the other hand, makes you feel secure, joyful, cared for, appreciated, and free to be yourself.
Negative or harmful relationships, on the other hand, leave you feeling tired, depleted, and sometimes even disturbed. A toxic relationship is the last thing you need while running a business, working with a partner, leading an organization, or managing a team.
One or both partners in a negative relationship may feel confined, controlled, and/or exhausted by the other. They might be emotionally, psychologically, or physically abusive—or any combination of the three. A negative relationship is one in which the members are not supporting one other in a healthy way. All relationships are difficult work, and there is always compromise, but a negative relationship is one in which the members are not supporting each other in a healthy way.
Co-dependency and narcissism are prominent elements in negative partnerships. Any negative connection suggests that something in it could be harmful to the person (or both persons) involved. These connections might make you question your own reality, morals, and self-worth.
So, what is the root of these kinds of friendships? Early trauma, early memories of abandonment or abuse, being made to feel insufficient or unlovable, or being denied of emotional care are all common triggers for toxic relationships.
When you are in a toxic relationship, it is easy to forget that you are in one.
As a result, it is critical to consider our childhood experiences. It is easy to believe that unhealthy relationships are normal, acceptable, or just the way things are if we grew up in a household with unhealthy relationships, or in our friend group or community where harmful relationships were examples. It can also stem from a lack of self-esteem or self-worth, as well as a lack of knowledge about what constitutes a healthy relationship.
Symptoms of a Negative Relationship includes, but not limited to the following:
You are always putting other people’s needs ahead of your own.
Self-abandonment is a common outcome of negative relationships. You believe you must give up your right to speak up, your viewpoint, your desires and needs, and your own needs.
You have the impression that you are not important.
Negative relationships are ones in which you do not feel accepted for who you are; you may continuously feel like an outcast, shunned, or judged. You will start to feel like you are losing yourself after a while of self-abandonment. It is possible that you will feel erased, invisible, or unrecognizable. You may find yourself doubting yourself and your ideals, and doing things you never imagined you would.
There is a sense of isolation.
Relationships that are negative are extremely lonely. Because the true sense of intimacy is missing—lacking it is of genuine human connection and empathic attunement—these partnerships induce a significant sense of loneliness.
You make each other’s flaws look so big.
Relationships that are healthy bring out the greatest qualities in both partners. Toxic ones, on the other hand, will cause harm. Some folks are simply unsuitable partners. Some people have the uncanny ability to bring out the worst in other people.
Spending time with them exhausts you.
A negative relationship is one that continually drains you, makes you feel horrible about yourself, or makes you feel emotionally or physically dangerous. “Consistent” suggests that this is how you feel after spending time with this person on a regular basis. This is crucial.
The give and take is unbalanced.
Negative relationships typically feature unequal give and take, with one person giving a lot and receiving very little in return.
Controlling behavior by one or both partners.
There will be an amount of control in negative relationships, especially if a narcissist is present. This can be more literal, but it can also be emotional, such as making them feel insufficient or that their partner is the only one who has any voice in what is going on.
There is a lot of jealousy going on.
Jealousy is frequently present in situations when control is exercised. Insecurity or a drive to control specific situations are common causes of negative partnerships. These habits and routines might lead to feelings of envy.
You have the sensation of being alone.
If your partner regularly isolates you, possibly even turning you against your friends and family, this is a significant warning flag. Partners in a toxic relationship may influence one another into “needing” each other and isolating each other from other connections. This entanglement can appear to be intimacy and bonding at times, but it is actually the result of pathological codependence.
There are difficulties such as substance misuse and untreated mental illness.
In negative relationships, especially codependent ones, one partner may have a substance addiction problem or an untreated mental health problem for which they are not receiving treatment. When this happens, one partner may try to avoid it or even encourage it. One person may enjoy the fact that the other has an unresolved problem since it helps them to maintain power over them.
There is a lack of regard for one other.
In negative relationships, you are usually undermining or harming your partner on a regular basis. This can manifest itself in a variety of ways, but the main concept is that there is a sense of disdain and animosity rather than friendship.
Abuse of the mind or emotions.
Other forms of emotional and psychological abuse are likely to exist in a negative relationship, in addition to isolating and controlling each other. This can take the form of heated disputes, in which one or both of you belittle the other, reject each other’s reality, lie, manipulating each other, and etc.
Abuse of the body
Any physical violence, such as pushing, shoving, grasping someone’s arm so hard that it hurts, or any other physically aggressive act, is a strong indication that the relationship has a pathology that is causing direct injury to one or both of you.
Manipulation through Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a type of psychological abuse that has been linked to narcissism and negative relationships. When one partner denies the reality of the other, influencing them into questioning the legitimacy of their own emotions and desires, this is known as gaslighting.
It will be extremely impossible for partners in a negative relationship to work through their differences. When you argue in a healthy relationship, you are not battling each other; you are fighting for the partnership to work. Healthy compromise—trying to understand the other person’s point of view with empathy and vulnerability—comes into play here.
The other person’s resentment.
Due to the difficulty of communication, one or both partners may feel unheard, leading to animosity. One or both people resent the other and believe they owe the other person something. And it is generally their own sense of self-worth that is at stake.
It follows a cyclical pattern.
If you have been in a negative relationship for a time, you have probably seen a pattern: things never go smoothly for long, and you have not surprised when the toxicity rears its ugly head. However, you are unable to go away for some reason (yet).
All decisions are always made by one partner only.
It is not a good sign if one person is in charge of everything. When it comes to major decisions, both spouses should be on board, and if one is continuously pressing for more, it is a sign of an imbalance. According to research, power disparities between partners can put a strain on a relationship.
Your partner does not support your goals and aspiration
For every relationship to grow, both partners must support each other’s dreams, goals, and aspirations in words, in-kind, and every other means necessary. Any union that lacks this barely stands the test of time.
Your family and friends disapprove.
Last but not least, have faith in your community. If those (families and friends) who knew you before this partner came along have genuine concerns about your relationship, do not dismiss them. It is crucial to obtain the perspective of someone who is not wearing rose-colored glasses, especially in toxic situations.
Is it possible to mend a sour relationship?
Yes, but it takes a lot of effort on both an individual and a team level. It takes both parties to recognize that something is not working and that you both need to work on yourself.
It is likely that a third party, such as a therapist will be required. It will be work that both of you must accomplish, and you may require assistance from a third party. Professional assistance will be required, and even then, no guarantees can be made. It will take a thorough dive into the emotional system, but if they are willing and motivated to put in the effort, there is a chance.
Toxic relationships are difficult to cope with, but if you recognize what needs to change, you may either work through your problems or walk away. There are always lessons to be learned, regardless of the circumstances. It is a trip worth taking once we recognize how important our health and well-being are.